Cougar Mona
Cougar Mona is a microbus enthusiast and love interest of Linz Mondello in 2 Raunch 2 Righteous. She has a criminal record that spans two turn tables and eats enough for twelve people. She has a reputation for preying on younger men, but she sees herself as a champion of feeding the homeless (and herself). __TOC__ Early years Mona committed her first series of crimes at age 14, stealing candy from local stores by hiding sweets underneath her fat rolls. Because she never got caught, she simply thought that she was on her way to being a master thief. Her greatest thefts took place on holidays and would be part of her trademark robbery shtick for the rest of her criminal career. Marriage & Separation Mona got married at age 16 after paying a hooker $50 to forge her mother's signature. She moved out of her step-father's house and into a one bedroom apartment with her boyfriend who was old enough to be her father. After Mona graduated high school, she attended college where she met a counterfeiter in her science class. The counterfeiter hired Mona to purchase items with his bogus bills. When Mona's husband found out about it, they got into a huge augment that started with him smacking Mona in the mouth and ended with Mona knocking him unconscious. After the counterfeiter bailed Mona out, she went back home to get her belongings. Her husband had changed the locks on the doors, but not the locks on his car. Mona used his vehicle to crash into the house. She was later arrested and bailed out again by the counterfeiter. Criminal Career Mona's husband sent her divorce papers, but she never signed them. Instead, she began a life of crime that would land her in jail after she and her pals are busted by the Secret Service. In return for a light sentence, Mona rolled over on the counterfeiter. But due to the cost of confinement at the time, Mona got 70 hours of community service. But she still didn't learn her lesson. Throughout her 20's and 30's Mona had more brushes with the law. The local police got so used to arresting her that they always made certain to restrain her with two sets of handcuffs and even had an extra wide cell ready for her. One night after a wild party, Mona was pulled over and arrested for DUI. She was put on house arrest. Rumor has it Mona slept with her parole officer to get her ankle monitor removed. Others joked that she gnawed through it. Meeting With Mondello By her late 30's, Mona began to calm down. She bought a green microbus she dubbed "Harlequin" and set out on a road trip to "find herself". During her travels she visited a small town diner to order some take-out. There she met a young man named Larry. She first took him for a pervert, but when he paid for her food she saw him as a gentleman. Mona thought Larry was cute and asked if he wanted to go to the park with her. When he agreed, they went there and had sex. Mona continued her travels until she found herself back in Texas. One night, while camping out in her microbus, her husband showed up. They made love, but Mona couldn't stop thinking about that young man who paid for her food at the diner. She continued to see her estranged husband on and off, but she didn't ever want to live with him again. She also couldn't see herself being a mother, because her own mother was so rotten. Then, one evening, out of no where young Larry showed up at Mona's place. Mona was shocked that he found her. Larry professed his love for Mona and Mona accepted it. They made love before going out for a night on the town. But Mona began having second thoughts about her marriage. She told Larry that she was still married and that she couldn't see him anymore. Larry's only response was to throw Mona out of his red microbus. 2 Raunch 2 Righteous Years later, Mona still looks like she's in her 30's and a long way from Texas. She earns the nickname "Cougar" for her pursuit of men younger than her. The youngest lover she ever had was a 16 year old high school student. Mona works at a casino down at the Shore. While employed there, she sneaks discarded and leftover food home to feed the homeless. When the casino discovers what she's doing, they fire her and she's given a citation. But Mona believes she's found her calling. She gets jobs at various restaurants in and around Fale County to continue her mission to feed the homeless, only she doesn't wait for the food to be prepared. Soon, Mona's activities get the attention of the Cankerton Police Department. She lives out of her green microbus, stealing food from buffets to feed the homeless (and herself). It isn't until she meets an older and more handsome Larry that she considers finally settling down from a life on the run. But Larry's on the run too, only his crime is more righteous than raunchy. Also see: *Lulzwagen *Linz Mondello *2 Raunch 2 Righteous